THE UJC LEXICON...CONTINUED

Since the recent Federation Leadership Institute, UJC has entered a new world of euphemisms. These have suddenly appeared in a variety of UJC Briefings, Memoranda, etc. Read and learn:

• UJC: The Jewish Federations of North America -- Apparently based upon some "broad consensus" among the 70(of 155) federations gathered at the FLI, this is the "new brand." Without any governance approval, start using this "new" (oy vay) name now. Should make UJC more relevant.
• The Coordinating Council -- not the "Officers" (Joe has deprecated most of them), but some other group of rubber stampers. (First appeared in UJC's Memo to the Federations announcing a "maybe" 10% max budget cut for 2010.) As in "...the...Coordinating Council...approved." Who/what are they? I could tell you but I would have to kill you.
• The Planning Tables -- "tables" at which UJC will make its plans with some federations but without JAFI or JDC present for the application of federation allocations to programs in Israel. As in: "the Planning Tables are ONAD... only better."
• The Joint Table -- a "table" at which will sit UJC, JAFI, JDC and the largest federations where better cooperation will be discussed -- or, as UJC does it so well, "imposed." This is not to be confused with "a table at the Joint."
• The Kitchen Table -- a wooden table in my kitchen.
• The Dining Room Table -- an antique table passed down through the generations seating 12 in my dining room.
• The Kitchen Sink -- UJC's strategic plan.
• Fair Share Dues -- those which federations used to pay; now fewer and fewer will or do leading Kanfer and a couple of Large Federations to plot a new strategy to avoid UJC's complete deconstruction. As in: "what are Fair Share Dues?"

More to follow.

Rwexler