Thursday, November 24, 2011


A recent note in Sports Illustrated, under the title Sign of the Apocalypse, read: In the hopes of bringing respectability back to his organization, embattled FIFA president Sepp Blatter has named 88-year-old former U.S. secretary of state Henry Kissinger and 70-year-old Spanish tenor Placido Domingo to serve on a "council of wisdom." 

Then, recently, a very respected national leader told me that I was too old for (apparently) any role in Jewish communal life.

And, then I thought about the recent kerfuffle arising out of JFNA's idiotic publication of a list of 43...43!!!...GA speakers, none of whom was a woman (even though the actual list of GA speakers includes almost a 50/50 split of women and men and JFNA has a commendable record of affirmative hiring of superb women professionals). Of course we know that JFNA can hardly express itself on any occasion -- except when it is making up numbers. 

 BUT, where were the aged speakers at the GA?
Where is the affirmative hiring of the elderly? Who speaks for the aging...




JFNA is thrilled to announce that Methuselah has joined its Senior Management Team as Special Senior Advisor to the CEO on Everything.

Methuselah is 965 years old. "I am thrilled that I will have the benefit of Methuselah's incredible breadth of knowledge at this critical time," said Jerry Silverman, President and Chief Executive Officer, the Jewish Federations of North America. "Methuselah has known every mega-donor in the World and should be able to introduce them (at least those that are still with us) to JFNA and make them part of our national community," Silverman continued with enthusiasm.

Methuselah said, "This new opportunity will energize me in ways I hadn't thought possible. I already feel half my age, young again. My plans are to visit every federation to which my mule can carry me. (So maybe only the 75 New Jersey federations.) My contract is for five years and during that time I will offer my best advice, garnered from hundreds of years of experiences, to Jerry and the federations in my own tried and true, and sometimes crude, ways."

Methuselah continued: "This ish the best opportunity for JFNA whish, as you know, ishn't too engaged with the next generation." When asked whether this meant that Methuselah supports the #ish effort, he replied:"No, its jusht that I have lost all my teeth over 965 yearsh. I hope to have them fixed with all I am being paid plush health and dental insurance."

JFNA's Chair of the Board, stated: "While I don't know Methuselah personally, from everything I have heard, he is really quite old. I welcome him and his expertise to JFNA where Methuselah's hiring is further demonstration that JFNA may be many things, one thing we are not is ageist." The Chair of the Executive had nothing to say. ___________________________________________________________________

OK, Methusaleh has not been hired at JFNA. If he were available, however, would he be...


1 comment:

Acher said...

I suggest a Global Elders Table (GET), with a 75-25% split In membership between boomers and too old to be a boomers, representing our historic generational partners - grandparents. The table would not have a vision ("who can see anymore?") nor a long range plan ("when's lunch?") but will be expected to write checks and create endowments, lots of them. All members of the table will be non-voting. Overhead expenses for the table will be limited to the cost of herring in cream sauce and melba toast.