Monday, April 25, 2011

THE ROYAL WEDDINGS AND ME

Way back when, I received a hand delivered envelope addressed to "The Honorable Richard Wexler, National Chairman, The United Jewish Appeal." The envelope was 8 x 12, at the least, with extremely impressive calligraphy. I ripped it open only to be shocked -- it contained an invitation to the Royal Wedding of Prince Charles and Diana. When I collected myself, I called Bernie Moscovitz, UJA's CEO, to inquire whether we could assign this invitation to a mega-donor. Bernie checked and we couldn't. So, after purchasing something called "tails," off I went to represent the UJA at this incredible set of events. Wow, it was so awesome to be in the presence of a Queen, and Prince "Call me Charlie" Charles. I was speechless in their presence and overcome with just the joy of being there. What a highlight in a life of them. So imagine my shock when I responded to a pounding on my front door last week only to discover a gentleman in livery holding an 8 x 12 envelope addressed to "The Honorable Richard Wexler, National Chair, United Jewish Appeal." The delivery man said: "Mr. Wexler, we have had a heck of time finding you. What happened to the United Jewish Appeal; and what happened to you? We were fearful you were dead and buried." "Long, long, sad story, I'm not dead but I have been buried" I replied, thanking the gentleman for finding me. I ripped open the envelope and found an invitation to Prince William and Kate's Wedding. My first thought was that this was a major error -- if anyone, this invitation should have gone to Kathy Manning, JFNA Board Chair. After all, whenever there is a White House event, it is she who attends in awe and silence. Then, I thought, "what the hell. I still have the 'tails.' the thing is addressed to me; I'm going." And then I thought about it: JFNA is now in the party business, almost exclusively; someone from JFNA should go, take notes and build a better TribeFest. And JFNA has constructed a monarchy -- or, at the least, a self-perpetuating oligarchy. I have sent the invite on to Jerry -- he'll figure it out. Rwexler

4 comments:

paul jeser said...

Richard - Purim was almost 2 months ago....

RWEX said...

I forgot.

Anonymous said...

Everyday is Purim at JFNA. They are dressed up to look just like CJF UJA and UIA combined.

But the smell of the crowd and roar of the greasepaint clearly show that the clothes have no Emporer.

There might be brisk business for groggers at the next JFNA Board meeting when we vote this next budget/joke.

Mordechai, save us, please.

Bernie Moscovitz said...

Rich, I have no recollection of being the UJA CEO in 1981 when Charles and Diana were married. I do however recall, as UJC CEO being invited to Bill Clinton's second inauguration in January 97However, there was no discussion about offering the tickets to a Mega Donor or to our esteemed National Chairman, for that matter