Friday, November 14, 2014



To: Trustees, Federation Chairs and CEOs
From: JFNA Leaders

In a recent message to you, we at JFNA appeared to take credit for the passage of a conversion bill that, upon cursory examination, could be a game-changer. That Memo pointed out, in pertinent part: "The issue is complex, most of our involvement took place behind closed doors..." As our Memo concluded, this was not legislation at all but a decision of the Israeli Cabinet in the nature of an Executive Order in the United States. In fact, our critical involvement was so secret, we weren't even aware of it.

Now we wanted you, our faithful, to know that "behind closed doors," JFNA has even more critical and secret successes. Among them:

  • The settlement of all issues in resolution of the Palestinian-Israeli peace process;
  • Hamas's abandonment of terrorism;
  • Hadassah Hospital's reorganization and balanced budget;
  • Recognition of the State of Israel by the Satmar;
  • Universal agreement that the world is flat;
  • The elimination of all anti-semitism in Western Europe and Great Britain;
  • The restoration of the International Fellowship of Christian and Jews allocation to JAFI;
  • Reconciliation between President Obama and Prime Minister Netanyahu; and
  • Our takeover of the work of both the Conference of Presidents and Aipac.
It's true that none of these matters are particularly relevant to the things we are supposed to be doing for our owners, the Jewish Federations of North America, but we thought them very, very important for JFNA, and, in particular, it gave our JFNA-Israel Office things to take credit for even though all of this was accomplished where we do our best work -- "behind closed doors."



paul jeser said...

A bit early for a Purim spiel :-)

Anonymous said...

You left out the 2014 mid-term elections.

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't it be fantastic were this organization able to accomplish anything behind closed doors or even better out in the bright light of day? Of course, they can't; all they can do is take credit for others' work while "rebranding" so that everything old, that these people haven't discarded in their stupidity, can be renamed and we can all pretend that they thought it up.

Anonymous said...

This is what happens when an organization has no accomplishments whatsoever of its own; it begins to claim the work, the successes. of others as theirs, as if they had something to do with them. If you read the original Briefing that JFNA published, they carefully avoided taking full credit for something they had nothing to do with. They merely suggested that they had some degree of responsibility. They are so very clever; maybe they could devote as much time to actually doing something themselves.