Tuesday, July 2, 2013

BRIEF...LY


A Leadership Briefing

JFNA PLAYED LEAD ROLE IN SECURING FUNDING FOR NON-ORTHODOX RABBIS IN ISRAEL

JFNA-Israel announced today that it had played a critical role in securing funding for non-Orthodox Rabbis in Israel. "Even though we were not aware of the decision to fund the non-Orthodox until it was announced by Minister Naftali Bennett, we had been thinking about this for many months, and, therefore, clearly our thoughts influenced this Government decision," stated Rebecca Caspi, Director General of JFNA Israel's Office. "As the 155 Jewish Federations of North America know full well," CEO Jerry Silverman observed, "The Government of Israel does nothing without our consent."

JFNA has delivered a post-dated letter to the Prime Minister seeking this funding.


A(nother) Leadership Briefing

JFNA ANNOUNCES NEW HEADLINE SPEAKER AT GA; "SURE TO DRAW A BIG CROWD," ANNOUNCES GA CO-CHAIR MICHAEL GELMAN

In an exclusive, JFNA leaders announced today that Arvind V. Mahankali will deliver the keynote address to the 3,000 registrants at the 2013 GA in Jerusalem. "We are so pleased that Arvind, who stunned the world by spelling (or misspelling as the case may be) the Yiddish phrase for matzo ball to win the Scripps National Spelling Bee, knaidel, will keynote our GA" reported JFNA CEO and President Jerry Silverman. Mahankali "...is expected to deliver a hard-hitting address critical of 'all sides' to the peace process. we are writing it now," announced GA Co-Chair, Susan "Susie" Gelman. He will also spell words for the expected vast audience such as "gornisht" and "verklempt," descriptive terms applicable to the GA. GA Co-Chair Michael Gelman announced that Arvind will also "...eat his first kneydl from the stage."

In a companion announcement, Silverman reported that Scripps will be a "significant sponsor" of the Jerusalem GA, "...in keeping with their mantra '...give light and people will find their own way.'" 

Rwexler

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hear the minions at 25 Broadway took the 1st item to be gospel. What a team!

paul jeser said...

a little early for Purim????

:-)

Anonymous said...

You mean these aren't true?

Anonymous said...

I'd believe the "Spelling Bee" before the "Israel funding"

Good for the Gander Department said...

A very senior VP at JFNA posted on facebook a faklempt or is it famished pic of Jerry Silverman addressing his staff. I wonder if he ran the pic by the communications department before posting?