OXYMORONS FOR MORONS

1. "...a figure of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction""

You know, like:

• Abbas/"(may be) an Angel of Peace" 
• CEO/Jerry Silverman 
• Airline Food
• Jumbo Shrimp
• Jerry Silverman/CEO
• Justice Clarence Thomas 
• Rabbi Barry Freundel 
• FedWorld/"The most important publication in Jewish life" 

Each and all of the above clearly meet the definition of "oxymoron" -- but that reality hasn't stopped JFNA, in the person of Chair Michael Siegal, from offering CEO Jerry a contract extension or from investing even more in the last of them -- the ridiculous and redundant FedWorld. In its budget JFNA speaks to a "circulation" of this infantile publication of 6,000 -- a figure about as unlikely as "a GA of 3,000." The Budget promises to increase this circulation by another 1,000 in 2015-2016. And, how easy that will be: just buy a few mailing lists and send the thing out to 2,000 more (so, maybe, another 1,000 will look at the thing and, then, toss it). How much are we paying for this? Whatever it may be...too much. (But, it is no doubt considered a giant step forward in Institutional Advancement and Building the Brand.) I don't know about you, but whenever I hear Jerry speak, I also hear (as was expressed in the great HBO show Veep) the sound of circus music.

You probably have your own additions to this list -- send 'em on.

Rwexler