WHILE THUMBS TWIDDLE

~ The Board Chair has issued a Tribe ("I hardly remember Friday") Fest Report (March 24, 2011). Of course, it extols this self-described seminal event in Jewish communal life concluding that "...TribeFest was a huge success and surpassed all expectations..." Although not included in the Chair's glowing summary, that's not all the Fest surpassed... This will come as no surprise to most of you. Whilst JFNA's leaders are still hurting from the back-patting over Festivus, after extensive cross-examination by some federation leaders (G-d forbid JFNA's "leaders" ask any questions), JFNA sheepishly and reluctantly revealed that TribeFest net costs (that's cost after income from Registrations and sponsorships) exceeded $250,000... yes, that's a quarter of a million dollar deficit...and that's before staff overhead and staff travel. This for a Fest that was promised to be "revenue neutral." The obvious question to many: should JFNA, which may be good at something, be conducting, running, direct programming. For a far lesser investment, JFNA could have invested with one of its 40 Festivus "partners" in an event they ran. But, then, we couldn't congratulate ourselves, could we? And, another question, which JFNA governance body approved the expenditures that resulted in a loss of $250,000? Oh, I forgot, the Board and Executive Chairs have determined that they are a governance body. Yes, quite the success. ~ How about this one. A major federation organized a great effort to attract the next generation of the best and brightest into a major, focused leadership development effort. It was exemplary, funded by a major donor. But, after these future leaders began to ask questions about the community, the federation shut the program down -- effectively alienating the next generation and ignoring the investment of a major donor. All the while, at 25 Broadway, thumbs twiddle. ~ And, then, at another large federation the search was on for the "Next Big Jewish Idea" -- with the promise of a significant dollar award to the winner. Last I looked, the leading candidate has garnered all of 3,292 votes at this point, 60 days after the jackpot was announced. Oh, the award -- $100,000!! My next big Jewish idea is never, ever run a Next Big Jewish Idea contest. Ka-ching. I win. It must be a disappointment that since the announcement the "Leaderboard" reflects only 3292 votes for the current top Big Idea -- Hebrewheroes.com -- actually a great idea (albeit hardly could be valued at $100,000) "...an online Jewish Values based interactive game and social networking site for Children." In second place is a proposal to engage Los Angelinos with African Jews. Elsewhere is Amir where "...through experiential environmental education, specifically gardening, Amir provides children with an enlightened perspective on their relationship with others..." And, ideas fall off from there -- garnering 1249 votes is Rugelachhhhh! -- "an idea for a kiosk or small bakery to be located in a high traffic area..." to "JEWWW in a box" and more, many more. In other words, it's fun...but $100,000??? (And I am not making any of this up.) Then I read in JTA that the Jewish Federation of Greater Portland (one of my favorite federations) "...is looking for one or more programs worth $300,000" in its Community Impact Grant Funds. That "reward" represents 10% of the JFGP's annual revenue. Where's the money going to come from -- need you ask? Way back in 1995 I was privileged to Chair Chicago's Priorities Task Force. Working with brilliant Chicago professionals and a wonderful consultant, Art Naperstak, z'l, from Cleveland (who went on to UJC where he tried to make a real difference), our Federation ultimately approved a plan to award local agencies priority grants for innovative projects and encouraged these then unique ideas of agencies working together for the communal good. After two years, worthy programs would be absorbed in the agencies' annual core budgets and the award funds would be "recirculated" to new strategic programs. To date millions have been invested in Chicago for creative programs and projects without negative impact on our community's allocations. But, G-d forbid, JFNA offer any guidance to LA or Portland or others. Too busy twiddling thumbs and doing table arrangements for the Global Planning Table, I guess. ~ Then my head almost exploded. I have been reminded often enough that I am of the wrong demographic; please don't write in response to this that I have once again proved it. Someone(s) in the appropriate demographic, so clever, must have believed they were providing a public service of some kind when they published a piece for or by Jewlicious -- The Unofficial Guide to Sex on Birthright Israel. If you're 12 years old, it's so, soooo funny...and so chock full of information on everything from condoms, to preferred spermacides to sex with soldiers and just whom might lose their jobs if you have sex with them. The tutorial ends with this: "[I]f in the midst of it all, you manage some sex, try to make sure it is good and please make it safe." Words to live by. (The full article can be found at http://www.jewlicious.com/2011/02/the-unofficial-guide-to-sex-on-birthright-israel/) Rwexler